Tuesday, December 05, 2017


So where am I at? I am pushing this yesr at uni. Not just academically. I got a job in the students union and if you know me I've probably gone on and on about it. But the fact is, it is like a drug to me. I can literally just turn off when working a Wednesday  or Friday night and that is thr beauty of it. The people there are amazing also.

The course is a bit of a grind at the moment. But I'm not the only one that feels this way. One of my best friends since first year is dropping out and I'm really going to miss him. I just don't really truly understand his decision but I'll still support him all the way.

But here is the thing, life is scary in the way it moves so fast. I was just thinking about how you move between friends. I don't speak to anyone from before uni (except church people), but even people I met at uni I have lost contact with. My whole flat in first year, I speak to none of those 13 any more. It is probably the most depressing thing about life.

I have met so many new people this year, am trying to go to CU and church more, and ultimately am just trying to keep occupied. This isn't hard with the CFD coursework and group project PDR deadlines looming, but I mean outside academia. I even go to the gym! I miss doing parkruns but the gym is the next best thing.

As for my housemates: Paul has vowed to stop drinking (again... You should have seen him the other night); Miriam is the best gym buddy ever but I miss her when I don't see her at weekends; Emily is hooking up with people left right and centre; Belinda is hooking up with someone too. But most of all everyone loves getting in my bed... Not in that way... Just hanging out, rewatching episodes of How I Met Your Mother... Yaknow.

Still feel sort of alone though. This adds to that I need to either find someone to live with next year or hold my fingers crossed I can get student accommodation. All my friends plan to go on placements or are leaving next year... So I'm going to struggle with that. But hey ho...

Christmas couldn't get here soon enough... Keep rockin' and peace out...

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt isolated?
Crying whenever you're alone,
Feeling weak and helpless,
But you can't say a word.

Have you ever felt useless?
Trying your best at what you love,
But you are never good enough,
No one appreciates your work.

Does it ever feel futile?
Earning money just to live,
But not to enjoy living,
The soul-crushing circles of life.