Contributors

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Existential crises, motivation and doing nothing...

These three things are a vicious cycle. I find it so hard to motivate myself to do anything, because there is very little that makes me feel satisfied or accomplished. This inevitably leads to doing nothing as I can't get the drive for it. As a result I overthink and contemplate life. This causes existential crises which cause another reduction in motivation, continuing the cycle.

It's difficult to know where the loop starts but I think it comes from doing nothing, even for a short time. This is unpreventable, if we constantly did stuff we would crash due to fatigue eventually. I want to surround myself with motivated people, the kind that truly believe they can accomplish anything. I wish I could believe that for myself. I guess this comes down to my lack of confidence which I also want to talk about.

Confidence is all about tricking people into believing you know what you are doing or talking about. The fact is, no one actually knows what they are doing or talking about they just make you think they do. Confidence is the key to getting a job, making friends, dating etc.. To have confidence you just need to be able to remember that no one is going to judge you. We are so self-absorbed as people that we constantly fear rejection and judgement, all the while not judging or rejecting other people. Why would people reject or judge us if we aren't doing the same to them? All this is made worse by social media, people faking their lives for likes, shares and followers, making everything seem perfect. 

The "clean house" theory. I currently still live with my parents, so I let them know when I have a friend to stay. However, my mother feels the need to obsessively clean the house as though the people I have invited actually care about what the house looks like when they come. When they are here, they see not a spec of dust. This is what my parents want them to see. They would come to my house regardless of whether the house was clean or not. They came to see me, not the house. This is the propaganda version of our house. 

Why can't we just be honest with everyone instead of subconsciously projecting lies in everything we do?

No comments: